No subliminal messages here/Photo Essay Part 2

The last few days have been quite incredible. "Incredible" could be an overstatement, to which I say please provide a word that encompasses "humbling," "overwhelming," shocking," "emotional," and "blessed" all into one. You have until the end of this post to come up with an alternative.

Ever since I created the Facebook group late Sunday night I have been blown away (add that term to the above list, thanks) by the support I have received from my friends. The most shocking part of that process has been seeing where this support is coming from. I have received around 10 contributions as a direct result of the group, and most of those are from people I have not talked to in the last 6 months, some in the last year, and others in over 2 years. This is where "overwhelming" comes in. One of my biggest fears at the beginning of this process was that the people whom I asked to support me would not believe in this work as strongly as I do. Not only have I been proven dead wrong, but I believe God has used this to show me that not only do I have support, but I have support from people who are not even a part of my day to day life. Insert "blessed" and "humbled" and "emotional" here.

Now on to more introductions. These are my two teammates, Jeff and Ragan, and our tour guide extraordinairre, Sergio/Bob/Bobby. Sergio/Bob/Bobby is one person, the Brazilian-looking one in the middle. He was given his English names by the LST team of older ladies who came the summer before us. They had difficulty pronouncing his name, so they took matters into their own hands and named him Bob. Bob, a quadri-lingual university student who also teaches English on the side, embraced his new name to the point that even the other Brazilians from the church often call him Bobby. Bobby worked at a hotel, so he was immersed in the business of tourism and took it upon himself to jam-pack our days off (2 days per week) with "touristy" activities to do around Natal. In this particular picture we had just finished doing a little snorkeling. Bobby is one of the kindest, most generous people I know. He takes the call of servanthood seriously and delights in serving others. He always seemed to show up at the church building just as we were getting ready to break for lunch or dinner, ready to accompany us to the grocery store, local buffet, or just keep us company. He spent significant amounts of his free time helping us with anything and everything, and any time we commented that he didn't need to feel obligated to do so, he would stop us mid-sentence and say "it's my privilege to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ. There is nothing I would rather be doing right now." Most of my memories with Bobby involve laughing, laughing, and more laughing.


This is another of my most precious readers, Roberto. In the last post I said that when I think of Natal, Michelle and Patricia are the first two faces I see, but I would also add Roberto to that image. When I first met him, I could tell that he was very shy, very nervous, but very sweet. He usually showed up to every reading session early but sweating. I finally found out the last week we were in Natal that he was sweating because he would run to the church building from the bus stop, afraid he would be late. Roberto and I had amazing conversations about faith and what it means to follow God. He would come to the sessions uber-prepared, having read the lesson ahead of time and also having read the same passage from Luke in Portuguese to verify his comprehension of the English. He was so excited when he began doing this, telling me he had never read his own Bible so much. His hunger was very evident and I pray that it has continued. I can't wait to pick up with him where we left off!

I just realized that perhaps I should define some of LST lingo I have been using. If you know it all already, this post is over, so you can go ahead and comment, contribute, and move on to your next blog. :) Stay tuned for more introductions...

Definitions:
Reader(s): the locals in the community (not from the church) who respond to the advertisement for Let's Start Talking to practice their conversational English for free
Reading session: a 45 minute session in which the reader and worker (me) read one lesson from the Luke workbook together. Depending on what the reader chooses and what the worker's schedule allows, some readers come for a reading session every day, some come only once per week.
Luke workbook: the reading material LST provides, a simple English translation of the book of Luke bound into a workbook format. Each reader receives a workbook to keep for him/herself. Each "lesson" is a passage from Luke with a given message, or "seed thought." Each lesson also contains highlighted English vocabulary words and comprehension questions about the passage.

Photo Essay Part 1

Once again I am too jazzed to fall asleep. I'll give you one chance to guess what's keeping me awake...What else? Natal, of course! However, it occurred to me that, although I can talk about how excited I am to no end, really you, my reader(s) (the singular is probably more accurrate...) have no earthly idea of specifically what I am excited about. Allow me introduce to you what, or, rather, who, keeps me awake at night:

These are my two friends, Michelle (left) and Patricia (right). They are my Brazilian soulmates. They were the first two readers I met at the Information meeting and they instantly became like sisters to me. Michelle is more sarcastic than I am...and clearly there will be no need for further explanation for why I love her so much. :) Patricia is one of the godliest women I have ever known. She is a breast cancer survivor, single mother of three boys, owns her own business, and still manages to pour love and kindness over everyone she meets. Michelle and Patricia are the first faces I see when I think about Natal.

This is Andre. Andre lived with us at the church building and basically kept us alive for the month we were there. He taught us how to quit blowing the fuse every day, avoid running out of hot water, showed us the cheapest but most delightful neighborhood restaurants, and served as an excellent bodyguard any time we needed him (that's a joke, Mom) simply because he's oh, about 6'4. Andre and I became good friends and laughed together A LOT! He is an engineering student at the local university and teaches English. He was very interested in American slang, and would pick up on any new word or phrase he heard us use. His favorite new phrase was "I'm coughing up phlegm." My favorite phrase that we taught him was "I'm blowing up" any time his phone rang. Hahahaha...it's still hilarious to me. :) This picture was taken the last night we were in Natal, about 4 hours before we left to come home. I was a bit emotional that night (as you'll be able to tell in future pictures) so excuse my appearance please.

Look forward to a continuation of this photo essay over the next few days. I want you to know my friends and the reason why I just can't wait to be with them again. Adios!

The Most Exciting Day

In my quest to fundraise approximately $18,000 for a year's worth of missionary work, I can tell you right now that I will declare many different days The Most Exciting Day. However, you can be assured that this declaration will always, without a doubt, coincide with a jump in figures on my donation page.

It's just a fact.

Last night, at about 1:30 am, I was laying in bed, desperately trying to fall alseep but unable to rid my mind of racing thoughts surrounding my internship. It had been a while since this happened, so it was actually a welcomed, nostalgic dose of insomnia. Call me crazy, but I get the most excited when I'm losing sleep over it. :) Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how best I can reach my friends to ask for support. I composed a mass email last week, but never sent it out. I knew that most of my friends, upon opening an email with oh, say 200 names in the address line, would delete it, assuming anything written to that many people must not be important. But oh, how important it is. So, I resisted as long as I could and then finally sold out, deciding to speak the language my generation knows best: Facebook.

I've created two Facebook groups in my life. The first, Chi Gamma Sub-T, was formed to poke healthy fun at the institution of social clubs on our campus. I won't go into the details of CGST, although it was wildly popular. Trust me. The second, With Your Help Cris Will Become a Missionary, I created last night, in the vain hope that my friends would join, see a precious picture of the little darling I met in Natal this summer, click on the simple link to my donation page, and begin supporting me. I invited about 350 of my closest friends to join, and by the time I woke up this morning at 9, my group already had 24 members.

By noon there were 45. By 2 there were 67. By 3:30 there were 85. Last I checked, at about 5:30, there were 96. This fact alone literally made my eyes well up with tears. I had no idea 96 people were willing to offer support, even if just emotional and prayerful, let alone join a group for it.

Now, remember what fact must coincide with a day being dubbed The Most Exciting Day? That's right, increase in monetary figures. Well. By noon I had received $10, by 4 I had received $30, and by 5 I had received a total of $130. From three people. Three people that would not even consider me one of their closer friends. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to have the support of my friends, let alone friends I don't even speak with that often. Today has been humbling, encouraging, happy, and, of course, THE MOST EXCITING DAY!!!!

If you give a Cris a book...

Inspired by my roommate Melanie, the most avid reader in our house, I decided to catch up a bit on some pleasure reading this weekend. And, apparently, by "catch up" I mean triple the amount of books I have read in the last three or four months in a mere 20 hours.

Although back in the day I used to be able to tear through one or two Babysitter's Club: Little Sister series' books in a week, I was unsure that 1. my hunger for reading hadn't changed since I was 9 and 2. I would be able to find enough good books that would make me want read that quickly. In hindsight, my ignorance is comical.

Although Karen Brewer (the Little Sister) enchanted me as a young pup, she hadn't deceived me: I still do have the hunger, although I do an excellent job of supressing it 11 months out of the year. In the "New Arrivals" section of the Abilene library, I found three books that looked interesting enough to keep me occupied over the next three weeks until they are due back.

I promptly came home, read one in an hour, and read the second over the course of last night/this afternoon.

Hmm. Is this book-bulimia? I binge for a weekend then purge my intellect of any more stimulation of the literary-type for a few more weeks? I'll have to get back to you on that, after I see what "a few more weeks" turns out. Perhaps Mel has inspired me enough to have been cured of my reading disorder.

Anyway, allow me to share with you the first of two incredibly interesting and quasi-life-changing books which engaged me so. The first, Letter to a Christian Nation, was one I had heard of only by reading Mike Cope's blog. The author, Sam Harris, a staunch and vocal atheist, wrote this as a response to the responses he received after his first book, The End of Faith, was published. It is composed as a letter to your average Joe Christian living in the United States, arguing all of the reasons that faith in God, any god, actually, is ludicrous. I assumed that anyone who writes a book like this would write very intelligently, very compellingly, and very convincingly, almost to the point at which I would struggle not to agree. This alone got me excited to read what Harris had to say. I welcome intelligent oppositions to what I think/believe/feel, because they encourage me challenge and work harder to legitimize what I think/believe/feel and make those thoughts/beliefs/feelings more authentic (either way).

Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that, though some of Harris's arguments are piercingly legitimate and should make Christians think twice about the way we handle ourselves with respect to the rest of the world, he came across more as a child trying to argue why his dad could beat up my dad while we chewed on popsicles in a schoolyard.

Not exaggerating. Read here if you want some excerpts and responses to the book on a very well-read preacher's blog, but for now I'll spare you the specifics of what I really thought about his argument. Do I recommend it? That depends.

Yes, but only if you are in the mood to seriously contemplate (in a good way) the Why of your faith. No, however, if you're only looking for someone new to hate for persecuting Christians. Harris doesn't need any more hate mail citing chapter and verse of why he will spend eternity burning in hell. I recommend the book if you are capable of reading with a prayerfully open heart and mind, prepared to see the validity in some of the points he has to make.

Do I still believe in God? Yes. Do I still believe Jesus is the Son of God? Yes. Do I still want to be a missionary for the next two years of my life? Yes. Do I still want you to support me? Yes. Is my faith stronger after reading this book? Yes. Do I hope that Harris has a Saul/Paul conversion one day? Yes. Do I still hope that subliminal messages work? Let's hope so. :)

Ooooh man I apologize for the whiney tone of that last post. I actually intended more of a sarcastic sound, but after reading it I realize it just sounded like I was complaining. Perhaps I was. :)

God definitely worked through some incredible ways this past week with my LST internship fundraising. I learned a tremendous lesson (as always) and learned once again that I can't box him in to the little mold I have for him. He is always, always faithful. And even when I'm pretty sure He's done being faithful, and I give him an out to peace out on me, he just doesn't leave! I am so thankful for a God who doesn't ever forget about me and takes the time to remind me of it.

Spring break was absolutely delightful. Seeing Molly, my roommate from freshman and sophomore year, was the highlight of the semester. There we are up there ^^ just laying around on the floor, you know. I also developed a new appreciation for the San Antonio area. I had no idea it was so pretty! I've always said Austin is the only place in Texas I would voluntarily choose to live, but folks you can now add San Antonio to that list.

This post is so lame. Sorry.

Cris-orama?

WHY is it that when I go to create my new boring email address, cris.carpenter at gmail.com, it has already been taken? And WHY does Google suggest alternatives such as cris.carpenterorama, cris.carpenterernator, or cris.carpenterster? Am I 7? And am I a sleaze? These are questions that plague me in the internet world. I guess the two major league baseball players with whom I share my name have already taken the simple, straightforward email domains. Or the Cris Carpenter with whom I'm friends on Facebook. I guess it's back to the drawing board. Any new suggestions? I may just have to resort to the even more boring cris.m.carpenter. How do we feel about that?

At least it's not cRiScHiCkACU2007pie@gmail.com. :)

Shamed...?

What word is in between shameless and shameful? There has to be one. Shameless implies reckless disregard to tact and modesty, whereas shameful implies embarrassment and/or a plea for attention to be diverted elsewhere. I don't think it can be shamed, because that's more of a verb than an adjective; a verb that makes me uncomfortable, mind you.

Anyway, I want to know what's in the middle because in my fundraising efforts I sit upon this unknown word. I am not shameful, because I believe so strongly in LST and the work that I will be doing and I know there are people who want to help support me, but I am not shameless in that I try to be very mindful of the fact that people have worked hard for their money and have mouths to feed and that fact alone makes me feel uncomfortable asking for it.

You will notice that I posted the link to my donation page over there >>, but I also posted a link to SearchKindly.org, (an excellent search engine that raises money for a different non-profit each month while yielding Google's search results) as well as a clock to tell you the current time in Natal, and a counter, perhaps because I'm vain about my blog and want to know how many have visited despite the lack of comments. You could say I shamefully cluttered the sidebar in order to not call attention to the link, but that I am now shamelessly devoting an entire post to my fundraising efforts. I'm such a little paradox.

My fundraising efforts for my internship in Brazil pose this problem: even though I feel ____ (this word I can't put my finger on) about my fundraising, what's the next step? Do I email my friends with the link to my donation page and ask for their help? Do I ask if their parents might be interested in supporting my internship, even if they don't know me? Do I ask the wonderful people who have already contributed so much if they could give again?

I don't want to send the wrong impression here: my fundraising has already gone extremely well and I couldn't be more thankful for the generosity and support that I already feel so strongly. God has shown me several times already that He is faithful and will continue to bless me throughout this preparation process. I have received encouragement in the strangest ways and in the most conventional ways. However, there is still more money to be pledged in order for me to be able to begin the internship in September. I've already learned so many lessons in the three short months I have been fundraising, and my prayer is that it will continue to be a learning and growing process for me.

And, if you have any ideas on how to get people to give me money, send 'em my way. :)

Hey, look at me! Two posts in three days.

I need your help. As I prepare to leave this place we call college, or Abilene, or ACU, or the armpit of Texas (which, by the way, I do not agree with) I need to prepare for my life post-college. My preparations include many different elements, but one of them is how I will remain in contact with my friends and family. Hopefully, this blog will begin to serve as as a major source of contact for you to stay updated on my life in Natal, though I do need to build a stronger readership, because I'm pretty sure I'm writing to NO ONE right now. A major part of staying connected is acquiring a new name that will end in gmail.com rather than acu.edu. That's right, folks, I'm in the "get a new email" phase of my preparations. Come May 12, when I graduate, no longer will I (or ACU, eventually) allow cmc02f to serve me. This is where you come in. Any suggestions on what my new email address should be?

To save you some time, these are out:

• any name pertaining to ACU (Wildcat, ACU, Purple, Judge Ely, Westheimer, etc)
• any name including the word "girl" (ACUgirl, Brazilgirl, Crisgirl, etc)
• any name including the word "chick" (ACUchick, Brazilchick, Crischick, etc)
  
• anything including numbers (Cris2007, cris1985, Cris5, etc)
• anything including interests (LipGlossGirl7, ILoveCats1985, White01XTerra)

I will now be accepting suggestions. FYI, I like the way my first and middle name, Cristina Michelle, sound together.

GO! (And thank you.)

Let's face it...

If I played the Justin Scott "name that song that's the title of my post" game you could bust out the old but trusty Mighty Mighty Bosstones' album and win my contest. Too bad for you that I don't play that game, but I have an entirely newfound respect for you if you 1) know who the MMB even were and 2) knew them well enough to know that "Let's Face It" was the title of the album as well as one of the songs.

What I really wanted to say is: Let's face it. I am a terrible blogger. I've been a member of this little site for over a year now and have what seems to be less than 10 posts to show for it. It's not that I don't have anything to say...because we all know THAT'S not true...but I just can't seem to find enough things to write about on a consistent basis that will impress you. Because I want to impress you, despite what my previous post (note the date...) says.

However, with my upcoming move to Natal, Brazil I would like to be in the habit of blogging by the time I arrive in order to continue the habit to keep my friends and supporters informed on my LST internship there. (Shameless plug: if you or your parents or your friends are interested in helping contribute toward my support, PLEASE let me know. I'm posting the link as soon as I post this entry.) It hit me on Friday, March 2, that exactly 6 months from Saturday, March 3, I would be on a plane, headed to spend my year(s) in Natal. Now, while I am very, very, VERY excited, realizing it was a mere 6 months away gave me one of those deep, awkward feelings in the pit of my belly, the kind of feeling that tells me I wish it was tomorrow and I wish it would never come, all at the same time. Don't let this alarm you (especially if you were seriously considering a contribution,) because it's a good feeling. A very, very good one. It's the same feeling you get when you have been on an airplane for the last 3/6/8/14 hours, on your way to an exciting vacation or an exciting visit with family and the plane ride has gotten monotonous and miserable until the exact second the pilot tells you they have begun the descent and then all you can think about is the person you are about to see or the new place you are about to explore or how good it will feel to use the restroom in an area larger than 2 square feet.

THAT feeling.

On an entirely unrelated note, I find it curious how much I love using parentheses. I feel like parenthetical interjections are how my writing becomes a conversation with you. Leave a comment so it can feel more real. :)

Time to brush my teeth

I told a friend tonight that I've been spending most of my time alone lately and that it's changing my perspective on a lot of things. I don't know if I said it because it's true or if I said it because I am trying to get accustomed to the fact that it might be true, but nonetheless I know I've been spending a significant time by myself lately and it definitely has altered my perceptions. I've spent so long, more than just these past years at ACU, always trying to be at the right place at the right time with the right people doing the most fun thing I could be doing at that very moment. The age of cell phones has gotten us out of making plans and sticking to them and carried us into an age of calling around until we find the best option. Anyway, my friend responded that spending most of your time alone is the best thing to do. I don't know that I agree, but I do know that, although I definitely have benefitted and grown from community, I think my leaps-and-bounds kind of growth comes from the times when I hang out with just me. I quit trying to impress myself about a year ago and so it's become rather refreshing to be able to be myself with myself and my thoughts and really get where I'm trying to go without an ego or false self perception getting in the way. I'm working towards the point where I'm no longer trying to impress anyone else, either, and though I'm getting remarkably close let's be real, I'm a 21 year old female. So I just started this book called Two Views on Women in Ministry for a class I'm in and it's making me realize that I have very strong beliefs and very strong opinions and rarely do I have anything concrete to back up those beliefs and opinions. Don't get me wrong, I can straight fool you into thinking that I do have solid research and conviction to back it up, but really all I have done is stolen someone else's conviction and plagiarized it as my own. Perhaps plagiarized is a strong term, but as I read this book that's how I feel. It's a good feeling, though, because it makes me want to study and learn more about why I think I believe what I do. Recently I have had this hunger for the Word that I have never before had in my life. A hunger for the Word has now replaced what used to be a hunger for a hunger for the Word. Now I've skipped the guilt and gone straight to seeking answers to questions, rather than wishing I had the desire to seek answers to questions. Get it? Doesn't matter. This post has lots of tangents and few readers. Time to brush my teeth.

I'm back...

My favorite days are characterized by one very specific quality. It doesn't really matter the day of the week (though I tend to like Thursdays...) or the time of year (although nice weather does put me in the best of moods...) or who I spend time with (well, who am I kidding...that actually affects my choice of favorite days quite strongly.) My favorite days are actually the ones in which I realize how hysterical of a sense of humor God has. Some people resent the image of God as a puppet-master, but I tend to be drawn to it for this very reason. I appreciate and fully attribute those funny little situations that I learn from and am humbled (see next paragraph) by to God's supreme sense of humor. I hope it's not disrespectful to view God in this way, because for me it draws me closer to Him and helps me to relate to His loving nature.

Example of the day: tonight as I was studying for a midterm in my Women in Christian Service class (taught by Jeanene Reese, my hero, but THAT is another blog...) I was reading about spiritual disciplines and spiritual giftedness, the purpose for their practice, etc. I became inspired to really embrace the study of spiritual disciplines and to further study spiritual gifts. The discipline of Simplicity has been tugging at my heart recently and the gift of discernment has been weighing on my heart, so I marched my little self up the stairs to the new Theological Reading Room in our library and found three books related to these particular topics. As I walked out among the Theology grad students, the Spiritual of the spiritual, I was feeling rather intelligent and rather spiritual and rather wise with my three books tucked under my arm. I made my way to the check-out counter so I could get home to begin reading up on my newly-found passion. I assumed the girl at the counter would probably be pretty impressed, too, when she saw the subject matter and that I was checking out three of them...until I heard this:
Girl: "Um...you have a $5 fine on your account."
Me: "Really? Oh...well does that have to be paid before I can check these out?"
Girl: "Yeah...you have to get it below $3."
Me: (annoyed, because I need to get home to start increasing my spirituality) "Ok...well, what is it even for?"
Girl: "Sex and the City DVDs."

Simplicity? Discernment?
Got it. :)

Reflections from the Road/Spring Break

1. Texas drivers are the worst drivers in the country. In the country. (I would say world, but I've been to Brazil...).

• If you are from Texas and this statement offends you, you are probably one of them.
  
• If you are not from Texas and this statement offends you, that's just weird.
  
• If you are from Texas and you think "Well, maybe, but I'm not one of them," there is an excellent chance you are wrong, and until an out-of-stater deems you correct your opinion does not count.
  
• If you are from Texas, you agree, and this statement does not offend you because it is true, you are probably not a "Texas driver." You are probably an exception, and that is an honorable title.
  

2. In a related story, I suffer from an extreme, but controlled, amount of road rage. If you have ridden with me you probably already know this. I tend to have conversations with my fellow drivers on the road. Comment of the day: "You suck at driving...and probably at life." I should ask forgiveness for that one...

3. My parents think "The Office" is absolutely hilarious. This strangely impressed me. I say "strangely" because either a) they're much cooler than they used to be or, b) they were always this cool I just refused to accept it. Something tells me it's probably the latter.

4. "Teenage Wasteland" has one of the best intros I have ever heard in a song. Thank you to Dr. Greg House for introducing me to this precious tidbit of information.

5. If he had been born 10 years earlier, Jesse McCartney would have enjoyed a very successful career with the Backstreet Boys. Maybe he and Aaron Carter can team up. They look like the same person anyways.

6. I consumed at least my body weight, possibly more, in strawberries this week. Ain't nothin wrong with that...

7. There are too many white trucks in Texas. On the Texas-half of my drive back to Abilene, every single vehicle I found myself behind was a white truck. Coincidentally, every vehicle I passed was also a white truck. Refer to point #1. If you live in Texas and have a white truck, paint it. White is boring. (Yes, I realize that Xavier is white. Although I love her, I wish she was green.)

8. Gas is too expensive. And with no good reason. Gas should be free. And water should be free. Actually, cars should run on water. And it should be free. Smart people, get on that.

9. Selling CDs back for cash, especially in the age of iPods, is an extremely lucrative business. Say hello to 28 dollars and say goodbye to Celine Dion. They didn't, however, accept my Creed cds or Backstreet Boys. Can you blame them? Insert embarrassed face here -->___.

10. I continue to hear from new people every time that the Coldplay concert was the best concert they've ever been to. Lucky for me I agree.

11. I don't hate the rain, but I hate driving in the rain. HATE it. Absolutely nothing good comes from long roadtrips in heavy rain. (Well, except that I don't have to give Xavier the traditional post-roadtrip bath. Ok, so one teeny tiny barely significant good thing comes from roadtrips in the rain.)

12. "Dookie" by Green Day is still one of the greatest albums of all time. Definitely on my Deserted Island list. "Nimrod" isn't too bad, either.

13. The more and more I go home, the more and more it isn't home anymore.

14. I hate the feeling of loneliness. I am codependent upon companionship. That's better than being codependent on alcohol...right?

15. Telling people you love them is important. Utilizing the numbers in your cell's phone book is necessary. If you think about someone, even for a second, whom you haven't talked to in a long time, call them up and tell them so. Chances are they won't think you're weird, like you might fear, and instead you will make their day. It's a shame that you have to go through losing someone to be reminded of that. Don't be scared to let someone know that they are appreciated.

16. Like my sister said, it's hard to accept when someone dies. Even if the chance that you would have seen that person again or even talked to them any time soon was slim, it's still comforting to know that he or she was still existing out there somewhere, doing good for someone. Please refer to #15 here and then do something about it. Carrie, we take comfort in the fact that your legacy, your incredible sense of humor, your joyful spirit, and your profound gift of friendship, will continue to do good for all of the people who passed through your life for a long, long time. You are unforgettable.

Parochial.

We are currently in the midst of week 4 out of 5 of Christmas break. No, you did not read that incorrectly. 5. Count them. One-two-three-four-five. I know, right? How retarded. But not so retarded that I wish I was resuming classes this week, like Oklahoma public schools, or next week, like Oklahoma state universities. I just think it's weird. So in the spirit of academic nostalgia (it's rumored that Patty V actually wrote an essay to combat boredom over the break. While I have not checked on this--I'm trying to break myself of my blog-slut tendencies--it nevertheless amazes me, because I find myself doing the same thing. Not writing essays, but doing educational things to fill my time. But I digress...) I decided to give you a small test. Not the quizyourfriends.com kind of test, but the kind you are about to take:
1. Blogs are for _____ people.
a. self-involved
b. bored
c. too-smart-for-their-own-good-and-like-to-show-off
d. too smart, too stupid, and none in between.

2. Blog entries should be written _____.
a. every day.
b. at least twice a week.
c. once a month.
d. whenever revelations resembling genius-thought arise.

3. I, Cris Carpenter, choose to write in this blog _____.
a. whenever I feel like it, dangit!
b. when I remember it exists.
c. whenever I have something to write of which I can be proud, because I am a writing snob.
d. whenever there is something on my mind that I have to get out, so I cop out and do it on the internet.

Have you ever visited Iambored.com? That might have been a better use of your time than taking the test you just did. If you are still pondering the answers then I have a surprise for you: there were no right answers. And there were no wrong answers. Sucka! They were all right in their own way. I'm such a people pleaser. Geez.

Right now would be a terrific time for me to dive into some sort of intellectual thought and enlighten you on my opinions on certain matters, but let's be honest: I'm at the Cabin, they're watching the Rose Bowl, I just got my hair cut and feel like a movie star, and therefore have no great thoughts on which to enlighten you. But don't worry, as they come I will share. Instead, I think I am going to compose a sentence using the Word o' the Day from my 2006 365 Words a Year! tear-away calendar I got for Christmas (is saying "I totally banked at Christmas" wrong? Because I did.) It was most definitely in my top 10 of Christmas gifts, fo shiz. I'm such a nerd. And then I'm going to tell you that we all, as a community, need to start using the word "terrific" more because it is HIGHLY underrated. "Fabulous," "fantastic," and "tight," are out, folks. Terrific is in. Use it, love it. "Arrested Development," my new favorite show, is also in. Watch it, love it. See, told you I felt like a movie star. I'm telling you what to do and acting as though my opinion is commensurate to God's. It's not. His is way better than mine. Commensurate was not my January 4 word of the day, though I do hope it is in the calendar somewhere because I sure do love that word. Ok. Word o' the day time.

When seeking news, my top choice in news providers is either CNN Headline news or cnn.com, because their presentation and story-choice is far from parochial, unlike FoxNews--boo!!

Haha I just lost like 47 friends. Happy January! If you're smart and I mis-used my new word, please let me know. I'll be happy to change it.

We are currently in the midst of week 4 out of 5 of Christmas break. No, you did not read that incorrectly. 5. Count them. One-two-three-four-five. I know, right? How retarded. But not so retarded that I wish I was resuming classes this week, like Oklahoma public schools, or next week, like Oklahoma state universities. I just think it's weird. So in the spirit of academic nostalgia (it's rumored that Patty V actually wrote an essay to combat boredom over the break. While I have not checked on this--I'm trying to break myself of my blog-slut tendencies--it nevertheless amazes me, because I find myself doing the same thing. Not writing essays, but doing educational things to fill my time. But I digress...) I decided to give you a small test. Not the quizyourfriends.com kind of test, but the kind you are about to take:
1. Blogs are for _____ people.
a. self-involved
b. bored
c. too-smart-for-their-own-good-and-like-to-show-off
d. too smart, too stupid, and none in between.

2. Blog entries should be written _____.
a. every day.
b. at least twice a week.
c. once a month.
d. whenever revelations resembling genius-thought arise.

3. I, Cris Carpenter, choose to write in this blog _____.
a. whenever I feel like it, dangit!
b. when I remember it exists.
c. whenever I have something to write of which I can be proud, because I am a writing snob.
d. whenever there is something on my mind that I have to get out, so I cop out and do it on the internet.

Have you ever visited Iambored.com? That might have been a better use of your time than taking the test you just did. If you are still pondering the answers then I have a surprise for you: there were no right answers. And there were no wrong answers. Sucka! They were all right in their own way. I'm such a people pleaser. Geez.

Right now would be a terrific time for me to dive into some sort of intellectual thought and enlighten you on my opinions on certain matters, but let's be honest: I'm at the Cabin, they're watching the Rose Bowl, I just got my hair cut and feel like a movie star, and therefore have no great thoughts on which to enlighten you. But don't worry, as they come I will share. Instead, I think I am going to compose a sentence using the Word o' the Day from my 2006 365 Words a Year! tear-away calendar I got for Christmas (is saying "I totally banked at Christmas" wrong? Because I did.) It was most definitely in my top 10 of Christmas gifts, fo shiz. I'm such a nerd. And then I'm going to tell you that we all, as a community, need to start using the word "terrific" more because it is HIGHLY underrated. "Fabulous," "fantastic," and "tight," are out, folks. Terrific is in. Use it, love it. "Arrested Development," my new favorite show, is also in. Watch it, love it. See, told you I felt like a movie star. I'm telling you what to do and acting as though my opinion is commensurate to God's. It's not. His is way better than mine. Commensurate was not my January 4 word of the day, though I do hope it is in the calendar somewhere because I sure do love that word. Ok. Word o' the day time.

When seeking news, my top choice in news providers is either CNN Headline news or cnn.com, because their presentation and story-choice is far from parochial, unlike FoxNews--boo!!

Haha I just lost like 47 friends. Happy January! If you're smart and I mis-used my new word, please let me know. I'll be happy to change it.

Sex, Drugs, and Blogging

I am becoming a blogging junkie. And that's not something I'm proud of. Let me explain. Even though school ended last week, I have been in Abilene this whole week working. My boss left to go to Africa on Wednesday, so yesterday and today I am working 8-5 to cover for her, sitting at a desk, doing some work but primarily twiddling my thumbs. So, in addition to finishing a book(Runaway Jury by Grisham, I'd give it a 5.5 out of 10) and beginning a new one (Velvet Elvis by Bell, so far an 8 if you like the Blue Like Jazz genre), my never-before-present ADD has kicked in and I find myself being a blog slut. I have read more blogs by more people I don't know than I ever thought I would. Who does that? Sadly, I think a lot of people do.

So, I'm reading this one blog by this one guy I kind of know who has been going through a rough time lately so of course I read his blog to see how he's doing? (Sadly, I think a lot of people do that, too.) Anyway, the psychologist in me starts reading his blogs back in November to see if I see signs of the rough time approaching, and I see a link to another blog at ACU. So I click on it. I begin to read it, see that she knows some people I know, and wonder if maybe I know who she is. So I click on a link on her blog that links to another blog of a name I know but don't know this guy personally, and I start reading his. His blog is so captivating that I read the comments on it and find a link to another blog. If you are keeping track and are familiar with the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game, I am now 4 degrees away from myself. Approaching whom, I don't know, but I'm 4 degrees away. Anyway. I stumble onto this other blog, where I find this:

"I know this may step on a few toes, but I have to let it out. I am extremely saddened by American churches who are spending millions of dollars on the wrong things. I recently read about a church that spent $19 million to expand their poperty and enlarge their buildings. How can this happen when.....

• Nearly one in four people, 1.3 billion - a majority of humanity - live on less than $1 per day.
• One in twelve people worldwide is malnourished, including 160 million children under the age of 5.
• An estimated one out of 6 elderly people in the U.S. has an inadequate diet.
• An estimated 40.3 million people worldwide are living with AIDS this year.
• An estimated 12 million children have been orphaned by AIDS in Africa.
• Today 6500 Africans will die of AIDS.
• Today 4.1 million Africans need anit-AIDS drugs and only 50,000 will get them.
• According to figures provided by the US Department of Health and Human Services, up to 600,000 men, women, and children go homeless each night in the US.

I just don't get it. How could something that started so good have gone so wrong? Please tell me that people are still more important than property and that big buildings will not be the greatest legacy of the church. Please."

So here's this guy 4 degrees away from me, I have no idea who he is. And if he ever reads this (maybe he's a slut too) I apologize for taking your entry. But I thought it was brilliant. (I'm the one who bolded and mega-capitalized that one sentence.) That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about people. Read my first blog, it's about 4 down I think, and this is another illustration to the concept that I think God views us moronic humans as a bunch of chickens running around with our heads cut off, passing harmful legislation and spending MILLIONS on church buildings, not churches (the church is the people not the building, remember? I learned that phrase by heart when I was four.) when there are far greater causes we need to be funding in His name. I think God might be ok with us not even having a dang milion-dollar roof over our heads when we gather to worship if it means that we're helping His hurting children. Rather than expand how 'bout we split up and plant churches?

You know what, I'll stop here. I can type real fast and I don't know if you blog sluts are ready for Tangents ala Cris. Given the incredible infrequency of my posts, I'm going to go ahead and wish you all (all 4 of you who read this) a Merry Christmas if I don't come back for a while. HappyChrismahannukwanzaakah! (I stole that one, too, from Justin who stole it from Virgin Mobile I think? I'm a slutty thief.)

BYE!

NSYNC

My sister has a very keen sense of smell. That's her sense. When good food, or bad food for that matter, is placed in front of her, the first thing she does is smell it. She trusts her sense of smell to determine all kinds of things, and certain smells jog certain memories.

My sense is sound. Even though I swear that I'm deaf sometimes, nothing brings back memories like certain sounds, whether they be music or buses. Buses make me think of Brazil, music makes me think of the time in my life when I first heard that particular song.

Over Thanksgiving I was driving around Edmond in my old car, the beloved Tercel, listening to my old radio station and I felt like I was in high school again. I heard "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" and almost cried. How 8th grade is that? And sometimes I'll hear "What Would You Do?" by CityHigh, and it makes me think of the best summer of my life: summer between sophomore and junior year. NSYNC's "I Want You Back" reminds me of the summer just before I began the 8th grade, when my family moved to Edmond and I found out what boy bands were. That same summer includes the song "Crush" by Jennifer Paige. Freshman year of high school holds "Bye Bye Bye," for NSYNC's second appearance on my list, and "Hey Ya" will forever remind me of freshman year at ACU in Gardner dorm, where Molly and I would listen to that song every single morning as we got ready for class.

There are certain songs that remind me of certain people in certain places. That "I keep on falling in and out of love with you" song by Alicia Keyes makes me think of a happy little relationship I had in high school, both of us sitting in my car (yay Tercel!) outside of his work. "Breath In" by Frou Frou was the soundtrack to driving around Abilene with Mike sophomore year to find grub costumes. Anything by Jump Little Children or Phoenix makes me think of Mike, to whom I can attribute about 90% of my musical taste. And then there was that time freshman year when a bunch of us drove out to the Anson Lights and Frankie J's "Suga Suga" was playing...that song's for Alex. :)

Whatever your sense is, I hope that it brings back memories as vivid as mine. One of my favorite feelings in the whole world is for a song to come on that holds such significant memories and to be so overcome with joy that you actually feel it. I think I'll go listen to a little NSYNC now...

While that great heaven sits above us

Lately I've been unimpressed with what God has to offer.

I don't know if I'm getting caught up with what I see the world offering to me or I'm just unimpressed. I've been reading Through Painted Deserts, Donald Miller's most recent book, which chronicles his "leaving home" journey across the Western half of the United States with his then-acquaintance now-best-friend. Last Saturday, between waking up at 1 pm and taking a nap at 4 pm (I better cherish these days as a college student...) I stumbled across this:

"I tend to think life is about security, that when you have a full year's rent you can rest. I worry about things too much, I worry about whether or not my ideas are right. I worry about whether or not people like me, I worry about whether or not I am going to get married, and then I worry about whether or not my girl will leave me if I do get married. . . and all of it, perhaps, because I bought into Houston, one thousand square miles of concrete and strip malls and megachurches and cineplexes, none of it real. I mean it is there, it is made of matter, but it is all hype. None of the messages are true . . . There doesn't seem to be any science saying any of this stuff matters at all. But it feels like it matters, whatever it is; it feels like we are supposed to be panicking about things. I remember driving down I-45 a few months ago and suddenly realizing the number of signs that were screaming at me, signs wanting me to buy waterbeds, signs wanting me to watch girls take off their clothes, signs wanting me to eat Mexican food. . . And it hit me that, amid the screaming noise, amid the messages that said buy this product and I will be made complete, I could hardly know the life that life was meant to be. Houston makes you feel that life is about panic and the resolution of panic, and nothing more. Nobody stops to question whether they actually need the house and the car and the better job. And because of this there doesn't seem to be any peace, there isn't any serenity. We can't see the stars in Houston anymore, we can't go to the beach without stepping on a Coke bottle, we can't hike in the woods, because there aren't any more woods. We can only panic about the clothes we wear, panic about the car we drive. . .We drive around in a trance, salivating for Starbucks while that great heaven sits above us, and that beautiful sunrise is happening in the desert, and all those mountains out West are collecting snow on the limbs of their pines, and all those leaves are changing colors out East."

I didn't know I was unimpressed with God until last night when I was sitting at Starbucks with Ragan and Andy. Ragan was telling us about a chapter she had read out of a book called 90 Minutes in Heaven. As the three of us talked about heaven and Ragan tried her hardest (bless her sweet little heart) to describe the description of heaven in this book, I became ashamed. I realized that I'm waiting for God to prove He is worth it to me. Someone came up to talk to Andy and he said "Hold on man. I'm in the middle of hearing a really intense story and there is nothing I'd rather be hearing right now." How often has the Lord tried to speak to me, tried to reveal little snippets of His glory to me, and in response I have I rolled my eyes and turned away to talk to someone else? Andy hit it right on: There should be nothing I'd rather be hearing right now.

How much have I missed out on by becoming consumed with everything that has nothing to do with God? How much has my skepticism that God really can do anything, really can reveal himself to me, really can answer my prayers, limited my ability to receive Him?

I am unimpressed with God, and it's my own skepticism that limits His power to work in my life.

Irony

You know it's funny. I created this account last year when my good friend Justin Scott was running for Student's Association president. His opponent had created a campaign blog to discuss "issues" of the race and platforms of his campaign. Well, nothing he said made sense, so my sarcastic nature got the best of me and I found my fingers itching to post a comment. With no intention to ever use this as a real blog, I titled it "confused voter" and left my comments for the opponent. Little did I know how apropos that title would become when I outgrew Xanga and finally succumbed to the blogger world.

This might be a bit drastic for my first post, but ever since a long talk with a good friend last night I can't really think about anything else. Maybe a big girl blog will help me get out my ideas that I feel I can't really talk about with many of my friends, for reasons you'll understand right...now:

Did Texas really pass an amendment to their state constitution that prevents the institution of marriage from including any type of relationship other than one between a man and a woman? Really? Let me first say that in no way do I "condone" homosexuality. I believe the Bible just like you do, I believe God intended marriage for a man and a woman and He intended sex to be between a man and a woman, within the context of marriage. But right now I'm feeling that maybe I understand the Bible a little differently than a lot of my "vote yes to the amendment!" peers. When Jesus came to seek and save the lost, he never mentioned coming to "seek, save, and make laws to hurt the lost." If we are to emulate Christ, and Christ came to love everyone, all of us, all of us who are sinners, how does creating a law that prohibits two people who love each other from lawfully making a lifelong commitment to each other show them the love of Christ? I'm not advocating gay marriage. I'm not implying that Christ would support gay marriage. I don't believe that at all. I'm questioning whether or not voting for such an amendment even remotely resembles what Christ calls us to do: Love.

I hear often that gay marriage destroys the family. Hmm...I could have sworn that it's divorce that destroys families. A heterosexual boy and a heterosexual girl can stupidly but legally get married at the age of 18 without giving the seriousness of marriage much thought, have a child, then divorce three years later. That's all legal. But a homosexual man and a homosexual man commit to be together for a lifetime, perhaps adopt an unwanted child, and remain in a monogomous relationship for the rest of their lives, while giving that child a "family" who loves him and supports him, and we are up in arms, disgusted with such an idea, trying to pass leglislation to make sure that doesn't happen. Wow. Is that backwards?

I don't have answers, and I hope I don't claim to. But I do have a Bible. And last time I read it, it told me to love my neighbor as myself. It told me to put on love over all other virtues, because love binds them all together in perfect unity. It told me to love each other deeply. It told me not to love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.

I get the feeling sometimes that God sees all of us like chickens running around with our heads cut off, thinking we know what we're doing and where we're going but really we just make fools of ourselves. He sees us promoting such amendments from the pulpit and in church bulletins. I see Him maybe shaking His head, saying "You don't even get it, do you?" On issues like this, I think we've made a mockery of what Jesus was trying to teach us.

I'm not a Texas resident and am therefore not registered to vote in Texas. Thank goodness. How is a Christian supposed to vote on issues like these? Either you vote to actively maintain what you think God's intentions for marriage are, or you vote to actively maintain the love of Christ. Yeah, I get that it's weird to pit those two against each other. But maybe we should give this whole idea a little more thought before we vote to amend constitutions.

So I've come pretty far around the circle, (I don't think I can call an ACU election and a state election a full circle quite yet) questioning Justin's opponent to questioning amendments against gay marriage. Told you I was a confused voter...