Shamed...?

What word is in between shameless and shameful? There has to be one. Shameless implies reckless disregard to tact and modesty, whereas shameful implies embarrassment and/or a plea for attention to be diverted elsewhere. I don't think it can be shamed, because that's more of a verb than an adjective; a verb that makes me uncomfortable, mind you.

Anyway, I want to know what's in the middle because in my fundraising efforts I sit upon this unknown word. I am not shameful, because I believe so strongly in LST and the work that I will be doing and I know there are people who want to help support me, but I am not shameless in that I try to be very mindful of the fact that people have worked hard for their money and have mouths to feed and that fact alone makes me feel uncomfortable asking for it.

You will notice that I posted the link to my donation page over there >>, but I also posted a link to SearchKindly.org, (an excellent search engine that raises money for a different non-profit each month while yielding Google's search results) as well as a clock to tell you the current time in Natal, and a counter, perhaps because I'm vain about my blog and want to know how many have visited despite the lack of comments. You could say I shamefully cluttered the sidebar in order to not call attention to the link, but that I am now shamelessly devoting an entire post to my fundraising efforts. I'm such a little paradox.

My fundraising efforts for my internship in Brazil pose this problem: even though I feel ____ (this word I can't put my finger on) about my fundraising, what's the next step? Do I email my friends with the link to my donation page and ask for their help? Do I ask if their parents might be interested in supporting my internship, even if they don't know me? Do I ask the wonderful people who have already contributed so much if they could give again?

I don't want to send the wrong impression here: my fundraising has already gone extremely well and I couldn't be more thankful for the generosity and support that I already feel so strongly. God has shown me several times already that He is faithful and will continue to bless me throughout this preparation process. I have received encouragement in the strangest ways and in the most conventional ways. However, there is still more money to be pledged in order for me to be able to begin the internship in September. I've already learned so many lessons in the three short months I have been fundraising, and my prayer is that it will continue to be a learning and growing process for me.

And, if you have any ideas on how to get people to give me money, send 'em my way. :)